Surrogacy is a journey of hope, compassion, and partnership for many individuals. It offers a unique path to parenthood and, for surrogates, a way to extend the most generous gift to families yearning for more. From both sides, it is important to understand the emotional effects of surrogacy and take into account all the complex challenges along the way.
The range of surrogacy emotional effects is different for every person involved in the process. This article and the Surrogacy by Faith agency strive to help you understand the surrogacy process better. We offer insights into the challenges and joys faced by everyone involved. With this information, you can equip and prepare yourself better for the incredible journey ahead.
Surrogacy Expectations vs Reality
Many people considering the idea of gestational surrogacy for the first time may not fully understand the scope of the process. Expectations collide with reality, and more complexities arise than either the intended parents or first-time surrogates may consider. The underlying feeling remains one of hope and positivity with visions of expanding a family or offering a precious gift of gestation to one. As the process continues, new challenges and emotional struggles may arise.
Navigating the emotional landscape requires a balance of support, understanding and guidance. A high-quality surrogacy agency is in a unique position to provide all these things and more. As trusted allies and advocates for people on both side of the process, the team will help manage expectations and maintain clear communication about reality every step of the way. Some of the most important parts of the process include collaboration and frequent updates that ensure everyone is on the same page from start to finish.
Of course, surrogacy expectations and realities are quite different for intended parents and the surrogates themselves. Read on to learn more specifics about how each person can manage these things and have an overall positive experience.
Surrogacy Expectations for Intended Parents
At the very beginning, intended parents often expect a smooth process with a beautiful baby in their arms at the end. It focuses on the fulfillment of their deepest longing for a child. Anticipation includes excitement surrounding not only the eventual addition to their family but also the ability to witness the growth and development of their future child. They should expect to communicate with the surrogate and form a special bond with her as well. However, there will always be some twists and turns along the way when things do not function exactly as expected.
The process of hiring a surrogate also has a considerable emotional effect on the intended parents. While you experience a high degree of hope and gratitude, these feelings may intertwine with negative ones from experience with infertility or other challenges in the past. Trusting your family to a surrogate may include feelings of vulnerability and doubt at times.
While it is important to expect these emotional effects, it helps to have a supportive surrogacy agency on your side every step of the way. The trust you find in a well-organized, careful, and meticulous team will help alleviate concerns and lead you down the path to joy.
Surrogacy Expectations for Surrogates
Generous women who choose to become a surrogate often focus on the profound sense of purpose and fulfillment that comes with helping others achieve their dream of parenthood. They may expect the creation of a meaningful bond with the intended parents that allows them to share the joyful process. Since Surrogacy by Faith surrogates are required to have had a successful pregnancy in the past, the women may envision another positive pregnancy and birth process.
It is important, however, to recognize that surrogacy journeys can include unexpected emotional and physical challenges. Work with the surrogacy agency to navigate the process more comfortably, maintain lines of communication, and focus on the positive aspects even if things get tough. As long as is surrogate works with a quality team, they should expect a positive experience from start to finish.
Is Being a Surrogate Emotionally Hard?
For surrogates who want to help families, the process is not only about generosity and giving of your time, health, and efforts. Surrogacy also requires emotional strength, resilience, fortitude, and a profound sense of empathy. With the agency’s help, you will navigate the delicate balance between forming a bond with the child you carry and preparing to place them in the arms of their intended parents.
Other unexpected emotional challenges of the surrogacy process may include:
- Emotional attachment to both the baby and the intended parents
- Separation after birth even with full understanding of the arrangement
- Hormonal fluctuations that can intensify emotions
- Personal relationship management with the surrogate’s family members
- Balancing personal and surrogate responsibilities
- Potential postpartum issues related to medical or psychological health
With proper support, medical care, and communication with agency representatives and the intended parents, all of these things become less volatile. Women will not be chosen for the role of surrogate if they are not healthy and always and have full understanding of how the process works or what to expect along the way and after the birth occurs.
Do Surrogates Get Emotionally Attached to the Baby?
During pregnancy and birth, various physiological and hormonal changes take place that automatically form a biological bond between the gestational mother and the infant. This is a fact of biology and cannot be dismissed by intention or legal plans associated with surrogacy. There is undoubtedly an emotional component to carrying a baby as the surrogate. However, this pertains mostly to the shared physical experience and the overwhelming desire to have a healthy pregnancy and infant.
This is very different to a true emotional attachment that one would have for an infant they welcome into their family directly. Newborns do not have the capacity to have a conscious emotional or familial bond. Human biology creates a bond out of necessity associated with the obvious physical interactions when the fetus is in utero. The lack of genetic similarities does not preclude the need for nutrition, oxygen, and safety.
As the fetus grows and develops, they become more aware of the gestational mother’s heartbeat, movements, and voice. This does lead to prenatal bonding, which is an important part of early development. These are reasons why a professional surrogacy agency takes such in-depth measures when choosing the best possible surrogates to help intended families grow. Health and care are important components.
Will the Baby Bond with the Intended Parents?
The simplest answer to this important question is also the most accurate: “Yes!” Recent studies have made it clear that past beliefs about poor post-natal bonding between the infant and the legal parents are incorrect. Even though the infant forms prenatal bonds with the surrogate and has the biological connection that is automatic and natural, this does not mean that they will have a strong emotional connection to the surrogate afterward.
When the intended parents hold their infant for the first time, it will quickly come to know their heartbeats, feelings, voices, and other characteristics that begin to form a true human bond. The care given to the baby and all the interactions with the family afterward cemented firmly in place. The absence of biological bonding before the baby was born does not damage or hinder their emotional or psychological development in any way.
Tip for Surrogates After the Surrogacy Is Done
The other side of the surrogacy relationship also includes a variety of bonding situations that must be addressed for optimum outcomes. A surrogate will form the same biological bond with the baby they carry, nourish, and protect for nine months. Again, this is a normal scientific thing that happens and has no bearing on the surrogate’s intention to help the intended parents.
One of the best ways for surrogates to navigate the entire process is to work with an agency who understands the complexities of the relationship. One of the most important parts is the initial investigation and evaluation to determine surrogacy qualification. This will help cross off people who are not suitable for the responsibility or the complex emotional journey.
Surrogates who go into the process with full knowledge and understanding of the details and what to expect will be able to navigate everything better. They should allow themselves time to process and understand that some challenging emotions may arise. Communicate with the intended parents and the agency. Take care of physical health and embrace self-care practices to relieve stress and help with recovery. Also, take the time to celebrate your contribution and acknowledge the incredible gift you gave to a deserving family.
The emotional effects of surrogacy affect both the surrogates and the intended parents. A large part of this involves balancing expectations with reality. The details in this article represent only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to navigating the process. Everything works better with a knowledgeable, experienced, and empathetic team from a quality surrogacy agency on your side. Surrogacy by Faith stands ready to help both parents and surrogates work together to change lives.