Every surrogate has a unique journey and we love hearing their stories.
That’s why we asked Alisha, 3X surrogate to share with us her experience.
What made you want to be a surrogate?
I was pregnant with my third child when I ended up losing him. I was heartbroken but even through all of that pain, I was able to get pregnant again and gave birth to our beautiful daughter.
This made me think about how fortunate and blessed my husband and I were to be able to get pregnant again. I learned that there is a lot of infertility out there and women don’t talk about it much. That’s when I decided to become a surrogate and help other families. I believe that it is an amazing gift to give.
How did your experience change you?
It has definitely opened my eyes to infertility which is really is a true struggle. Being a surrogate also made me build all these friendships that I never thought I would have gained. The parents and the kids are part of our lives now and I love to be able to watch the children grow.
Not only did it change my husband and I’s life, but I’m also able to show my kids what it is to serve other people and give all of ourselves for the greater good. We’re doing this to be able to help a family bring a life into the world. It’s been a blessing to be able to share that with my kids.
What was your relationship like with the intended parents?
I had 3 surrogacy journeys. My first experience was in 2016 and I fell in love with the couple I got matched with right away. We instantly bounded and became good friends. Since then, we’ve been able to keep that communication and friendship. My husband and I have gone on vacation with the family and we get to see the pictures of the kids growing up!
My first journey was such a great experience that I wanted to do it again. So I reached out to Amy and got matched with another family!
For my second journey, I delivered in 2018. The first family was at my medical screenings and at my transfer because they lived close. I didn’t get to meet the second family as they lived overseas but they were still very involved, which was very important for me. I would send them videos when the baby was dancing around in my belly or every time I had a sonogram. That’s how we were able to build a relationship over time and I could make sure they were a part of my pregnancy.
For my third journey, I delivered in 2020. It was an adjustment to get pregnant during COVID. But the family was still able to come out before the delivery!
What advice would you give to women who want to be a surrogate?
Each one of my three journeys had been completely different. So you should not have set expectations on how your journey is going to go even though you’ve done it before or know somebody who’s done it.
Just be very open minded and allow your journey to be its own. We can’t be in control of everything or plan how the pregnancy is going to go. Also, get to know the parents as where they are in their lives. Each story is its own so just enjoy it!
What is the most challenging part about being a surrogate?
The most challenging part is going through the medical process to prepare your body for transfer. But the way I looked at it is that every shot I did would get me one step closer to being able to have the baby.
The waiting period before getting matched with the family is also the hard part. We have to wait for the right family to come along. But the end goal is being able to give life and pass the baby over to the parents, so it’s definitely worth the wait!
What is the best part about being a surrogate?
It’s when the parents meet their child for the first time. The best part is seeing their joy and knowing that you were able to give them that gift. And also afterwards, getting to see the baby grow. I still keep in contact with all my families and being able to see my surrogate babies grow up is very fulfilling. I play the role of the auntie in their lives. It’s really a blessing.
How was your experience with Surrogacy By Faith?
When I started looking for a surrogacy agency, I had a hard time finding one that shared my values. As I don’t believe in termination and have my own morals and beliefs I wanted to stand by, I was told by a couple of agencies that they will never be able to match us.
But when I found Surrogacy By Faith, I called them and I felt really at peace after talking to Amy on the phone. She understood me and I knew I was protected in the legal contract for my beliefs. As Amy was a surrogate before, she was able to be a friend for me among the journey. She made sure everything was taken care of and that was a blessing.
Amy told me “Our surrogates should be treated like gold”.
After my second surrogacy journey, Amy and I kept in contact and I work with her now as a surrogate coordinator. I feel very fortunate to be able to do that. From the very first time surrogates reach out to us, to after the delivery, I get the privilege to help them along the way.
We really pray over our surrogates. Surrogacy By Faith is more a family to us and I tell our surrogates “you’re not just another number to us”, “you’re not just another match”. We really invest in our surrogates and we care about them, we want them to be taken care of.