Bringing a child into the world isn’t always a straightforward path. For many families, pregnancy isn’t possible due to medical or personal reasons. But that doesn’t mean their dream of having a child has to end.
Gestational surrogacy has opened new doors for people who want to build a family. It’s a path filled with care, commitment, and purpose. Whether you’re someone hoping to become a parent or thinking about becoming a surrogate, this journey is full of meaning.
We’ll explain what gestational surrogacy is, how it works, who it’s for, and what each step of the journey looks like. We’ll also talk about some common misconceptions and what it really takes to become a surrogate.
What Is Gestational Surrogacy?
Traditional vs. Gestational Surrogacy
Gestational surrogacy is a process where a woman, called a surrogate, carries and gives birth to a baby for someone else but without being genetically related to the child. The embryo she carries is created through IVF (in vitro fertilization), using an egg from the intended mother or an egg donor, and sperm from the intended father or a sperm donor. The surrogate’s own eggs are never used.
This means that biologically, she has no link to the baby she is carrying. Her role is to provide a safe and healthy environment for the embryo to grow during pregnancy, but she is not the baby’s mother in any genetic or legal sense.
Once the embryo is ready, it is transferred into the surrogate’s uterus. If implantation is successful, she becomes pregnant and carries the baby to term, just like in any other pregnancy. The difference is that the child she’s carrying belongs to the intended parents from the very beginning, biologically, emotionally, and legally.
In contrast, traditional surrogacy works differently. In that model, the surrogate’s own egg is fertilized, usually through intrauterine insemination (IUI). That means she is both the genetic and the birth mother of the baby. This can make the situation more emotionally complex and legally tricky, especially if the surrogate later has a change of heart or if parentage isn’t clearly established ahead of time.
Because of these complications, traditional surrogacy has become rare in most countries, including the United States. It is less regulated and often leads to legal disputes, emotional strain, and confusion over parental rights. Many states either discourage it or have specific laws to limit its use.
Gestational surrogacy, on the other hand, is now the most widely used and recommended form of surrogacy. It offers a much clearer structure, with established legal protections for both the intended parents and the surrogate. Everyone involved enters the journey with a shared understanding of roles, rights, and boundaries.
Who Chooses Gestational Surrogacy?
Gestational surrogacy can be the answer for many people who, for one reason or another, cannot carry a pregnancy themselves.
Why Intended Parents Choose Surrogacy
Many intended parents have spent years trying to conceive. They may have gone through multiple rounds of IVF, miscarriages, or other fertility treatments without success. The emotional toll of infertility can be heavy, and surrogacy often represents a new chapter, one that feels both scary and exciting. For these parents, surrogacy isn’t a first choice, but rather a hard-won decision made after exploring every other option.
Some intended parents have underlying health conditions that make pregnancy unsafe. This can include chronic illnesses like diabetes, lupus, or heart disease, as well as past complications such as repeated miscarriages or preeclampsia. Others may have undergone treatments, like chemotherapy or radiation, that damaged their reproductive system. In some cases, women have had hysterectomies or other surgeries that make pregnancy physically impossible.
Same-sex male couples frequently turn to gestational surrogacy to have a biological child, often working with both an egg donor and a surrogate. This allows one or both partners to have a genetic link to their child while building a family in a way that reflects their love and commitment.
Single individuals, both men and women, are increasingly choosing surrogacy to build their families. Whether they haven’t met the right partner or simply feel ready to become a parent on their own, surrogacy gives them a chance to welcome a child into their life without needing to wait for the “perfect” circumstances.
Why Women Become Surrogates
On the other side of the journey are the women who choose to become surrogates. Their stories are just as meaningful. Most surrogates are mothers themselves. They’ve experienced healthy pregnancies and feel confident in their ability to carry a child again. But what drives them isn’t just physical capability, it’s something deeper. Many say they’ve always wanted to do something meaningful for another family. Some describe it as a calling, something they felt drawn to long before they took any official steps.
There’s a unique sense of purpose that comes with being a surrogate. It’s not just about helping someone, it’s about making the impossible possible. It’s about seeing the joy on someone’s face when they finally hold their baby and knowing that you were part of that miracle.
Compensation does play a role. Surrogates are compensated for their time, their body, and the commitment they make. For some, that financial support helps them stay home with their children, go back to school, or reach other life goals. But when asked what mattered most, many surrogates say it’s the emotional reward, the sense of having truly changed someone’s life, that stays with them the longest.
The Gestational Surrogacy Process – Step by Step
Step 1: Matching Intended Parents and Surrogates
Filling Out a Detailed Profile
The first step in the surrogacy journey isn’t medical or legal, it’s human. It’s about people getting to know each other and making sure that the connection feels right. Because this isn’t just a transaction. It’s a shared journey that lasts many months, sometimes more than a year. And the relationship between the intended parents and the surrogate can deeply influence the whole experience.
Everyone begins by filling out a detailed profile. Intended parents describe who they are, what brought them to surrogacy, what kind of relationship they hope to have with the surrogate, and what values matter most to them. Surrogates also share their story: why they want to become a surrogate, what kind of communication they prefer, and what level of involvement they’re comfortable with during and after the pregnancy.
Agencies look at everything, communication preferences, lifestyle, beliefs, past experiences, family dynamics, and more. For instance, some intended parents want to be very involved in every step, from attending ultrasounds to choosing the birth plan together. Others prefer to check in occasionally and focus on preparing for the baby at home. Likewise, some surrogates love sharing updates, while others appreciate more distance and privacy. Neither approach is wrong, the key is making sure the people on both sides are aligned.
Psychological & Medical Screening for Surrogates
Before a match is ever confirmed, everyone goes through a thorough screening process. For surrogate candidates, this includes medical evaluations to ensure their bodies are healthy and ready to carry a pregnancy. It also includes psychological assessments with a licensed professional, where emotional readiness is explored, boundaries are discussed, and any potential concerns are addressed early on.
In some cases, if the surrogate fails the surrogacy psychological evaluation, it doesn’t mean the door is permanently closed. Agencies may offer guidance, support, or recommendations to help you prepare for a future attempt.
Background Checks and Home Assessment
Background checks are also part of the process for both the surrogate and, in some cases, the intended parents. This helps ensure the safety and integrity of the match, especially if there are children in the home or travel will be involved. Financial stability, relationship status, and home environment can all be part of this picture.
The Match Meeting
When the surrogacy agencies believes they’ve found a potential match, they schedule a meeting, sometimes virtual, sometimes in person, so both parties can talk and get a feel for each other. This conversation can be relaxed and informal, guided gently by a coordinator. There’s no pressure. It’s simply a chance to connect and see how things feel.
Only after both the surrogate and the intended parents feel comfortable and say “yes” does the match move forward officially. And from there, the next stage of the journey begins with both sides feeling heard, seen, and supported
Step 2: Medical Screening and Legal Process
After the match is confirmed, things begin to take a more clinical and legal shape.
Medical Screening at the Intended Parents’ Fertility Clinic
The first part is medical screening. The surrogate is referred to the intended parents’ fertility clinic for a full work-up. This isn’t just a basic check-up, it’s a very specific evaluation designed to ensure that her body is fully ready for pregnancy. Doctors look at her overall health, hormone levels, uterine lining, and any past pregnancies or deliveries. Blood tests check for infections or underlying conditions, and ultrasounds help confirm that her uterus is structurally normal and ready for embryo transfer.
The surrogate’s reproductive history is especially important. Doctors review details like how many children she’s had, how her previous pregnancies went, whether she had any complications, and how she recovered. They look for signs of consistency and stability, a healthy body that has done this before and can likely do it again.
In parallel, there may be additional evaluations, including genetic screenings or STI tests, depending on the clinic’s protocols. These aren’t meant to be invasive, they’re there to keep everyone safe and ensure the very best chance of a healthy pregnancy from the start.
Legal Contract Phase
While the medical process is underway, the legal side of the journey begins. This is where the foundation of the surrogacy agreement is built. A surrogacy contract is drafted that lays out every part of the arrangement clearly and in detail. This includes the surrogate’s compensation package, the responsibilities of both parties, how medical decisions will be handled, how communication will work during the pregnancy, and what happens in case of complications or unexpected events.
It also covers topics like how many embryos can be transferred, what kind of contact is expected during delivery, and what the birth plan will look like. These details are not just practical, they help avoid misunderstandings later and ensure that everyone is on the same page emotionally, medically, and legally.
Each party, surrogate and intended parents, has their own surrogacy lawyer. That’s not optional, it’s mandatory. A surrogate must have her own lawyer to review the contract and make sure her rights, health, and future are protected. Intended parents do the same with their attorney.
Only after both parties have signed the surrogacy contract and medical clearance is officially given can the journey move to the next phase: preparing for embryo transfer and the chance to begin pregnancy.
Step 3: IVF and Embryo Transfer
IVF and Embryo Creation
IVF (in vitro fertilization) is the heart of gestational surrogacy. First, the egg provider (either the intended mother or an egg donor) undergoes ovarian stimulation with hormone injections to produce multiple eggs. These eggs are retrieved in a minor surgical procedure and fertilized in the lab with sperm from the intended father or donor.
The resulting embryos are monitored over five to seven days. The most viable one is selected for transfer. In some cases, embryos are genetically tested for chromosomal health before transfer (PGT).
Cycle Medications for the Surrogate
While this is happening, the surrogate starts IVF medication to prepare her uterus. She takes estrogen to build her uterine lining and progesterone to support early pregnancy. Medications are taken daily, with support from the agency throughout. Timing is key, her body must be exactly ready for the embryo to implant.
The Embryo Transfer
Embryo transfer takes place at the fertility clinic. It’s a simple, painless procedure that feels like a Pap smear. The doctor inserts the embryo into the uterus using a thin catheter, guided by ultrasound. Afterward, the surrogate may rest for a day or two, depending on the clinic’s recommendations.
A blood test is done 10 to 12 days later to confirm pregnancy. If the test is positive, the clinic continues monitoring the surrogate with ultrasounds and hormone testing for the first 8 to 10 weeks.
Step 4: Pregnancy and Monitoring
During the pregnancy, the surrogate receives top prenatal care. There are regular check-ups. The intended parents stay in the loop. Some come to appointments. Others prefer video calls or updates.
It’s up to the match. Some become close friends. Others stay connected just during the pregnancy. The agency is always there in the background. They make sure everyone is okay, emotionally, physically, and legally.
When the baby arrives, the parents are usually in the room. That moment when they meet their child is one of pure joy. For the surrogate, it’s a moment of pride and peace.
Myth vs. Reality: Breaking Down Surrogacy Misconceptions
Myth #1: Surrogates get attached to the baby
This is probably the most common fear. But it’s based on a misunderstanding.
Surrogates know from day one that they are carrying the baby for someone else. They prepare for that. They’ve already had children of their own. They don’t see this as “giving away” a baby, they see it as giving it back to its parents.
They also go through psychological evaluations before getting started. They talk about expectations and boundaries. And most importantly, they want the parents to have their child.
Myth #2: Surrogacy is only for the ultra-rich
No, it’s not just for celebrities.
Yes, there are costs. IVF is expensive and legal work costs money. Surrogates are compensated fairly but there are payment plans. Many parents save for years.
Lots of intended parents using surrogacy are regular people, teachers, nurses, couples who’ve spent their savings on failed IVF rounds.
Myth #3: Surrogates have no rights
This one is flat-out false.
Before the pregnancy starts, there is a clear contract. The surrogate’s rights are written into it. She gets to make decisions about her health. She is paid on time. She has a support team, a lawyer, and a medical team backing her.
Agencies like Surrogacy by Faith make sure surrogates are never alone. They’re cared for the whole way.
What It Takes to Be a Surrogate
Qualifications and Requirements
Being a surrogate isn’t for everyone. It also comes with clear surrogacy requirements that help protect everyone involved.
You need to be between 21 and 37 years old to become a surrogate with Surrogacy by Faith (some agencies accept up to age 40). You must have had at least one healthy pregnancy. You need to be a non-smoker and live a stable, healthy lifestyle.
Emotional readiness is just as important. You need to be okay with carrying a baby that isn’t yours and letting go when the time comes.
That’s why the screening process is so detailed. It’s not about judgment, it’s about safety, for everyone.
What Surrogates Can Expect
Surrogates are compensated. It’s not just for the pregnancy, it’s for their time, their body, and their heart.
But most surrogates say the real reward is emotional. They know they’re making a difference. They’re giving someone something priceless.
Support is everywhere. Agencies check in regularly. There are doctors, coordinators, lawyers, and counselors. No one walks this journey alone.
Why Choose Surrogacy by Faith
Not all agencies are the same. Surrogacy by Faith offers a faith-based, ethical approach to surrogacy, ensuring that every surrogate and intended parent is fully supported throughout the journey. The agency focuses on respect, care, and ethical practices to make sure both surrogates and intended parents have a positive experience.
For intended parents considering surrogacy, the best way to start the journey is by exploring the intended parent application process. Women interested in becoming surrogates can learn more about the steps involved by reviewing the surrogate mother application process.