Becoming a surrogate mother is a life-changing journey, both for you and the intended parents. The process of finding the right intended parents is a critical first step, and understanding how to navigate this search will help you feel confident in your decision. Whether you’re working with a surrogacy agency, matching independently, or considering the role of an egg donor, it’s essential to take your time and make informed choices. This guide will cover gestational surrogacy and the various ways to find intended parents, the process of matching, what to look for in intended parents, and the next steps after you’ve found the right match.
Understanding Your Options for Finding Intended Parents
The first decision you’ll make as a surrogate mother is whether to work with a surrogacy agency or pursue an independent match. Both approaches have their benefits, and the best choice depends on your personal preferences and comfort level.
Surrogacy Agencies
Many surrogates choose to work with a surrogacy agency. Agencies help facilitate the entire process by matching you with intended parents, coordinating legal and medical steps, and providing emotional support throughout your journey. Agencies often have a rigorous screening process, so you can be sure the intended parents are emotionally and financially prepared for surrogacy.
Independent Matching
If you feel more comfortable controlling the matching process, you might prefer to find intended parents independently. In this approach, you connect directly with intended parents, often through online platforms, social media, or personal networks. This option gives you more control over the match but requires you to navigate the legal, medical, and logistical aspects on your own or with hired professionals.
How to Find Intended Parents through a Surrogacy Agency
If you choose to go through an agency, the process will begin with surrogate matching. The agency typically handles the screening, interviews, and profile creation for both surrogate mothers and intended parents. Here’s how it works:
Surrogate Matching
The first step to becoming a surrogate mother is to create a profile that showcases your values, lifestyle, and motivations for becoming a surrogate. Agencies will use this profile to match you with intended parents who share similar values and goals.
Initial Interviews and Profile Creation
You’ll go through an interview process with the agency to discuss your personal background, health, and family situation. Your profile will include information about your surrogacy goals, medical history, and communication preferences.
Reviewing and Selecting Surrogates or Intended Parents profiles
Once the agency has created your profile, you will be presented with profiles of potential intended parents. These profiles will provide insight into the intended parents’ background, family dynamic, and surrogacy goals.
Meeting and establishing a connection: the matching interview
Once you find a family that feels like a good match, the agency will set up a meeting. This matching interview allows both parties to ask questions, clarify expectations, and assess whether they’re compatible.
Finding a Suitable Surrogate
For intended parents, the process of finding a suitable surrogate can be equally challenging. They may need to decide whether an egg donor is necessary in their surrogacy journey. The relationship between surrogate mothers and egg donors can be complex, so understanding when and why an egg donor is needed is crucial.
Egg Donor Considerations
There are instances when intended parents require an egg donor to conceive. Understanding the role of an egg donor and how it differs from that of the surrogate mother is important for a smooth surrogacy experience.
When is an Egg Donor Needed in Surrogacy?
Egg donors are needed when the intended mother cannot use her own eggs for conception. This may be due to age, infertility, or genetic conditions. In such cases, the intended parents will select an egg donor to complete the IVF process, including the embryo transfer.
Choosing the Right Egg Donor
Intended parents typically select egg donors through an egg donor database, reviewing profiles that include physical traits, medical history, and personal interests. This decision can significantly impact the surrogacy experience, especially if the egg donor is known to the surrogate mother.
The Role of an Egg Donor in the Surrogacy Process
The egg donor’s role in surrogacy ends after the donation process, while the surrogate continues carrying the pregnancy. It’s important to establish clear boundaries between the egg donor, intended parents, and surrogate to avoid complications during the surrogacy journey.
Egg Donors and Surrogate Mothers: Relationships and Boundaries
In most cases, surrogate mothers and egg donors do not have a direct relationship. However, clear communication between all parties about their roles and expectations is essential for a successful surrogacy process.
What to Consider When Choosing Intended Parents
Choosing intended parents is a deeply personal decision, and there are several important factors to consider to ensure a successful surrogacy journey. Finding the right family involves more than just compatibility—it’s about shared values, communication style, and mutual trust.
Agency Screening Process
If you’re working with a surrogacy agency, make sure the agency has thoroughly vetted the intended parents. This includes confirming their legal, financial, and emotional readiness for the surrogacy process. Reputable agencies screen intended parents to ensure they are well-prepared to support you throughout the pregnancy.
Compatibility and Shared Values
One of the most important aspects of finding intended parents is ensuring you share similar values and expectations. Some surrogates may seek families with strong Christian or other faith-based values, while others may prioritize different cultural or ethical considerations. At Surrogacy by Faith, we connect intended parents with surrogates who align with their Christian faith-based beliefs. For surrogate mothers looking for intended parents, this shared faith may be equally important.
Lifestyle Compatibility
It’s essential to discuss lifestyle expectations upfront. This can include dietary preferences, medical choices, and even the level of involvement intended parents will have during the pregnancy.
Communication Style
The relationship between surrogates and intended parents can vary widely depending on how much communication each party prefers. Some intended parents want regular updates, involvement in doctor’s appointments, and emotional support, while others may prefer a more hands-off approach. During the initial meeting, discuss how often you’ll communicate and what types of interactions feel comfortable. Some surrogates prefer daily or weekly updates, while others are content with less frequent contact.
Psychological Evaluation in Surrogacy
A psychological evaluation is often a standard part of the surrogacy process. This evaluation helps ensure that both surrogates and intended parents are emotionally prepared for the surrogacy journey. For surrogates, it’s an opportunity to reflect on your motivations and expectations, while for intended parents, it helps assess readiness for the complex emotions involved.
What to Expect after Finding Intended Parents
Once you’ve found the right intended parents, you’ll move forward with legal contracts, medical procedures, and preparing for the pregnancy itself. Here’s what you can expect in the next steps:
Legal Agreements
You’ll work with a surrogacy lawyer to draft a legal contract that outlines the responsibilities, rights, and expectations for both parties. This contract will cover topics such as financial compensation, medical decisions, and communication.
Medical Procedures
After the legal contracts are signed, you’ll begin medical preparations, including IVF treatment if necessary. If you’re carrying an embryo created from an egg donor, the intended parents will likely be closely involved in the IVF process.
Ongoing Relationship
Throughout the pregnancy, you and the intended parents will continue to communicate and build a relationship. Establishing clear boundaries and expectations early on will help create a positive experience for both sides.
Choose Surrogacy by Faith
Surrogacy By Faith offers a unique and compassionate approach to connecting intended parents with surrogate mothers who share their faith, values, and beliefs. With a focus on fostering meaningful relationships and providing unwavering support throughout the surrogacy journey, Surrogacy By Faith empowers intended parents to embark on their path to parenthood with confidence, trust, and gratitude for the gift of life. If you’re interested in becoming a surrogate or a parent through surrogacy, contact us today. We’ll be with your every step of the way to help build the family of your dreams.