While surrogacy can be a beautiful journey, like anything else it’s not without its challenges. We know that overall the far-reaching benefits outweigh any negatives, but at the end of the day… surrogacy is an individual decision that needs to be made by you and your family.
Therefore, it’s important to consider both the pros and cons of surrogacy to determine if it is truly the best path for you.
Whether you’re considering working with a surrogate to bring a baby into your life, or you’ve been thinking about giving that incredible gift to another family, there are many elements to consider. This is a big decision! And one that should not be taken lightly.
A good place to start is to sit down with your partner or a trusted loved one and make a list of surrogacy pros and cons. Discuss any potential issues you might encounter on your surrogacy journey, as well as the potential joys and triumphs.
This is a great way to understand your hopes, fears, and feelings about the surrogacy process before making a final decision. Of course, the team at Surrogacy By Faith is also here to listen and provide advice anytime you need it.
Ready to get started? Let’s dive in and take a look at some of the more common pros and cons of surrogacy.
Intended Parents: Surrogacy Pros and Cons
Despite some considerable challenges, the cons of surrogacy are by no means insurmountable – and the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks. Just think about it, at the end of your journey you’ll have the ultimate blessing, a beautiful new baby.
This incredible reward truly makes the process worthwhile for everyone involved. As long as you partner with a reputable, professional surrogacy agency to help guide you, you can rest assured that you’ll be taking the amazing journey of a lifetime.
Advantages of Surrogacy:
Surrogacy has many benefits for intended parents, here are some of the biggest pros the surrogacy process has to offer.
Building Your Family: This is the biggest pro of all! Surrogacy offers couples that have struggled with infertility or other issues the ability to bring a beautiful new life into their family. This is truly a blessing, and what makes the entire surrogacy journey worth it.
Genetic Ties: Many intended parents choose surrogacy because of one major factor, it allows for their child to be their own genetic relative. Granted, some parents may need to use a sperm or egg donor depending on their situation, but the genetic tie to your baby is definitely a pro for many.
Comprehensive Surrogate Screening Processes: When you work with a reputable agency, every gestational surrogate is thoroughly screened during the surrogacy process to ensure that only the most qualified and healthy candidates are chosen.
You’re An Integral Part Of The Process: With surrogacy, intended parents can develop a relationship with their surrogate, attend doctors appointments, and be present for the birth. This is both a reassuring and exciting way to be involved in the entire process and makes for a smoother transition when your baby finally arrives.
Increasingly High Pregnancy Success Rates: Pregnancy success rates with surrogacy are high, and continuously improving, due to ongoing advances in medical technology.
Access to Agency Experts: When you work with a high quality surrogacy agency, like Surrogacy By Faith, intended parents have access to skilled professionals and family-building experts who can guide them, every step of the way, to help ensure the surrogacy journey is as smooth as possible.
Disadvantages of Surrogacy:
Anytime you undergo a significant journey in life, such as surrogacy, you’ll likely face a few challenges you’ll need to overcome.
The good news? Working with an experienced agency can help you more easily navigate these challenges and bring a precious baby into your life. So even though obstacles may arise, you’ll have someone there to support you, every step of the way.
Cost: For intended parents, surrogacy costs can definitely be a challenge. There are many expenses to consider when embarking on this journey, from legal fees to the cost of the actual IVF procedure, and everything in between. It’s important to discuss costs with your agency and be sure you are financially prepared.
Finding the Perfect Agency: Surrogacy can be a complicated process, so intended parents must carefully select a reliable, professional agency that aligns with their values and has their best interests at heart.
Finding the Right Match: It’s incredibly important to ensure you find the right surrogate mother match for your family. Sometimes this process can take a little time, which can be frustrating for intended parents ready to start a family.
The Logistics: Though the surrogacy process is well-organized, it can sometimes feel overwhelming. Working with attorneys, medical professionals, fertility clinics, and a surrogate can be a lot to take on. That’s why caring agencies like Surrogacy By Faith exist. We are here to coordinate your entire journey to help ensure everything goes smoothly.
Emotional Concerns: Fertility and pregnancy are emotional subjects that can trigger complicated feelings. During the course of your surrogacy journey, there might be challenging emotional moments and tough decisions to make. But once you hold your new baby in your arms, any emotional issues you faced along the way tend to be forgotten.
Becoming A Surrogate Mother: Pros And Cons
If you’re a woman thinking about becoming a surrogate, we first off want to thank you for considering taking on this amazing journey.
To be a surrogate is to give the gift of love to a deserving family. Without selfless women like you, intended parents around the world who struggle with infertility would never experience the joy of having a biological child. This is a huge, but deeply meaningful and life-changing decision!
There are many things to consider before becoming a surrogate. A good place to start is by asking yourself the following questions that may impact your final decision.
- Am I at the right time and place in my life where becoming a surrogate is a viable option?
- Will my spouse and/or family be supportive of my surrogacy journey?
- Am I prepared to undergo a full background check, and multiple medical and psychological exams throughout this process?
- Am I emotionally prepared to carry another family’s baby?
To help you further decide whether surrogacy is the right choice for you, let’s look at some of the pros and cons of being a surrogate mother.
Pros Of Being A Surrogate:
There are many positive reasons to become a surrogate mother. Women who choose to embark on a surrogacy journey enjoy a number of benefits, including:
The Joy Of Helping Another Family: Giving another couple the amazing gift of parenthood is one of the most fulfilling acts of service a person can ever experience. This is the number one reason women become surrogates. It’s a joy like no other!
Building Relationships: Many surrogates form a special bond with their intended parents that can translate into an ongoing friendship with the entire family.
“Bringing new life into the world is a huge thing. In my first journey I was worried about how people would react when I said I’m pregnant, but it’s not my own child. It was very interesting to see the doors that it would open as other people were either struggling with infertility themselves, or said they would love to be able to give that gift to somebody and become a surrogate.” – Alisha K., 3x Surrogate
Pregnancy Perks: We’ve found that a good portion of the women who become surrogates enjoy being pregnant! The glow, being able to marvel at a new life growing inside you – surrogates get to experience the magic of pregnancy all over again.
Financial Perks: As a surrogate, all your legal and medical expenses are covered. Plus there is additional compensation for your time and service, money which can be used to invest in your own family or make a special purchase you’ve been saving for.
Cons Of Being A Surrogate:
While there are many positive reasons to become a surrogate mother, surrogacy can also be challenging, and it isn’t right for everyone. Here are some cons to consider before making the decision to become a surrogate.
Time Commitment: When you choose to become a surrogate, you are deciding to commit a year or more of your life to the process. And it isn’t just the nine months of your pregnancy, but the screening process, preparatory medications, doctor appointments, IVF procedure, etc. It is a big time commitment you need to be prepared for.
Physical Demands: Carrying a baby and giving birth is an enormous physical undertaking. You will also undergo a series of medical tests and preparatory procedures, plus you need to commit to a healthy lifestyle throughout the process. Any woman considering surrogacy should truly enjoy pregnancy and be excited about the pregnancy experience.
“Of course nobody wants to give themselves shots or medications, but I told myself it’s only a season and just part of the process. Another helpful hint: when I received my first package of medication, I wrote down the dates for a countdown on my mirror. Every day as you erase it, you see that you are one day closer. You know that the medications are going to end. That was something that definitely helped me. I got to celebrate ‘one more week of shots!’” Alisha K., 3x Surrogate
Complicated Emotions: Enduring nine months of pregnancy while carrying a baby other than your own can be emotionally challenging. But this is what makes surrogates so special. They are the select few who are willing to accept this challenge, and provide the blessing of parenthood to those who might otherwise never get to experience it.
How To Decide If Surrogacy Is Right For You
Now that you have your list of surrogacy pros and cons, it’s time to make a decision. Consider all the ramifications, listen to your heart, and pray on it.
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” James 1:5
At the end of the day, you are the only person who can answer the question, “Is surrogacy right for me?” However, there are plenty of people who can provide guidance and support to help you make your decision.
Talk To Family and Friends
For intended parents, obviously you must be fully in sync with your spouse before you can pursue a surrogacy journey. The decision to become parents needs to be made jointly. You’ll want to talk through all the potential challenges you might face together as a couple along the way.
Intended parents may also want to speak with close friends and family about their decision to pursue surrogacy. This is a great opportunity to answer any questions people may have, or enlist additional support and assistance before you embark on your journey.
If you are married and considering becoming a surrogate mother, you’ve likely already talked to your partner a great detail about this decision. The support of your spouse is critical to ensure a healthy, happy surrogacy journey.
You will need your partner’s help and support throughout your pregnancy and after the birth. So if they aren’t fully on board, perhaps this isn’t the right time in your marriage to pursue surrogacy.
If you are not married, then you will need a trusted friend or family member to be your support person throughout your surrogacy journey. This is an important step in how to prepare to become a surrogate. Identify this person ahead of time, and ensure they are fully onboard and prepared to offer assistance as needed.
Potential surrogates will also want to talk with their own children prior to making the final decision to pursue surrogacy. You want to offer them assurance, answer any questions, and assuage any fears they may have.
In essence, your entire family will be going on this journey with you. Be sure that everyone is onboard and prepared for what lies ahead.
Consult with Former Surrogates and Intended Parents
Another great resource, as you are considering the pros and cons of surrogacy, are people who have already been through the entire surrogacy process. These families can give you a first-hand account of the joys and challenges they faced throughout their surrogacy journey.
There may be local surrogate group meetings in your area that you can attend. There are also plenty of online surrogate support groups where you can read other women’s experiences and ask any questions you might have.
In addition, any reputable surrogacy agency that you work with will allow you access to former surrogates and intended parents to ask questions as needed. You can also read online testimonials where former surrogates and IPs share their surrogacy journey experiences.
Speak With The Professionals at Surrogacy By Faith
And finally, whether you’re ready to build your own family or help another family make their parenting dreams come true, your friends at Surrogacy By Faith are here to walk you through the entire surrogacy process. We’re dedicated to providing both our intended parents and surrogates a smooth experience, from start to finish
Why work with Surrogacy By Faith? We are a Christian agency dedicated to helping grow families by the grace of God… one surrogacy at a time. At Surrogacy By Faith, we understand the intricacy and miracle of bringing new life into this world.
Our hearts are in this for a loving reason, not a business one. We are simply doing God’s work.
At Surrogacy By Faith we enjoy taking the time to really get to know our surrogates and intended parents. Our friendships last far beyond the end of the surrogacy journey.
We are a relationship-based agency. That means we encourage intended parents to form a special bond with their surrogate mother. Feeling like you are “in this together” and being able to share experiences along the way is a beautiful part of the path to parenthood.
Since most agency staff members at Surrogacy By Faith have also been surrogates themselves, we understand the surrogacy process on a spiritual and emotional level. This allows us to offer sage advice throughout each phase of your journey.
Start Your Surrogacy Journey With Us
If you are interested in learning more about starting your surrogacy journey with Surrogacy By Faith, either as a surrogate or as intended parents, please complete the appropriate inquiry form to get started:
After an initial conversation, you can decide if you are ready to start your surrogacy journey with our agency. If yes, you’ll begin the pre screening process and move forward from there.
God bless you as you take your first steps of your surrogacy journey!