As a surrogate, you may wonder what intended parents truly expect from you. It’s only natural to have questions about how you can best meet their needs while balancing your own well-being. Understanding their hopes and expectations can make your journey smoother, help you form a strong bond with them, and ultimately lead to a more fulfilling experience.
This guide will outline the key things intended parents typically expect from surrogates, focusing on emotional commitment, medical responsibility and communication.
Top 3 Expectations Intended Parents Have from Surrogates
Emotional Commitment and Understanding
Intended parents often have high hopes for emotional investment, but it’s important to understand that every surrogacy relationship is different. Some intended parents may want a very close bond with their surrogate, while others might prefer a more professional relationship with defined boundaries. This can vary based on their personalities, prior experiences, and even cultural backgrounds. However, there is one common expectation: they all want to feel that you genuinely care about the surrogacy process.
Some intended parents might appreciate regular emotional check-ins or updates about how you’re feeling throughout the pregnancy. Others may want to keep communication centered around medical and practical matters. Whatever their preference, it’s okay for surrogates to discuss these boundaries early on. This ensures both parties feel comfortable and can build a relationship based on mutual understanding.
It’s also important to be transparent about your comfort levels. If you’re someone who prefers a more professional relationship, it’s okay to voice that early in the journey. Conversely, if you enjoy forming emotional connections, sharing that can help intended parents understand what to expect. Encouraging transparency early on sets the stage for clear communication and reduces the potential for misunderstandings later in the surrogacy process.
Following Medical Guidelines During the Surrogate Pregnancy
One of the most important expectations intended parents have is that their surrogate will follow all medical advice and guidelines closely. This covers everything from the preparation stages of embryo transfer to regular prenatal care throughout the pregnancy. They are entrusting you with one of the most significant aspects of their lives, so naturally, they hope for a surrogate who is fully committed to their baby’s health and well-being.
Attending all medical appointments is essential, as it allows the intended parents to stay informed about the pregnancy’s progress. These appointments often include regular checkups, ultrasounds, and any necessary medical treatments. You’ll also need to follow specific health recommendations, such as maintaining a healthy diet, avoiding alcohol or smoking, and adhering to any other restrictions your doctor suggests.
Taking care of both your physical and emotional health is equally important. Pregnancy can be physically and emotionally demanding, and intended parents appreciate knowing that you’re doing everything possible to ensure a healthy pregnancy. This doesn’t mean that you need to be perfect—just committed to following the medical team’s guidance and taking care of yourself and the baby.
Communication: Keeping Everyone in the Loop
Clear, honest communication is something every intended parent expects. Being kept in the loop about how the pregnancy is progressing helps intended parents feel involved in the process, even if they’re not physically present at every appointment. Regular updates, whether weekly or monthly, can go a long way in maintaining a strong relationship and building trust.
Intended parents expect you to communicate any concerns or complications as soon as they arise. Surrogacy can sometimes come with unexpected challenges, and being open about any issues ensures that they can be addressed promptly. Keeping everyone on the same page can alleviate stress and prevent misunderstandings.
At the same time, surrogates should also feel comfortable expressing their own concerns. If there’s something about the process or relationship that feels unclear or uncomfortable, it’s important to voice it. Good communication goes both ways, and most intended parents appreciate when surrogates are upfront about their needs.
What Qualities Do Intended Parents Look for in a Surrogate?
Health and Wellness Commitment
Intended parents usually prioritize a surrogate’s overall health, as it plays a crucial role in ensuring a healthy pregnancy. From lifestyle choices like diet and exercise to mental wellness, intended parents want to know that their surrogate is taking good care of herself, both physically and emotionally.
To ensure this, surrogacy agencies have strict health criteria that surrogates must meet before they can proceed with the process. This typically includes passing a comprehensive medical evaluation, which checks for any health conditions that could affect the pregnancy. Mental health evaluations are also a part of the process, ensuring that the surrogate is emotionally prepared for the journey ahead.
While it’s important for surrogates to prioritize wellness, intended parents also appreciate knowing that their surrogate is receiving the necessary support. This may include mental health counseling or regular wellness checkups to ensure that both the surrogate and the baby are healthy throughout the pregnancy.
Commitment to the Surrogacy Process
Another key quality intended parents look for is a surrogate who is fully committed to the entire process, from the intended parents’ application process to the birth. This means being engaged and responsive throughout every stage, including the medical screenings, embryo transfer, and follow-up appointments. Intended parents want to know that their surrogate is taking the process seriously and is dedicated to seeing it through to the end.
This commitment extends beyond medical appointments. Intended parents often look for surrogates who are proactive in asking questions, learning about the surrogacy process, and staying informed. While the surrogacy agency will provide you with guidance and support, it’s important to stay engaged and invested in each stage of the journey.
Flexibility and Adaptability
Surrogacy, like any pregnancy, can come with unexpected challenges. Whether it’s medical complications or scheduling conflicts, intended parents look for surrogates who can adapt and remain flexible. This doesn’t mean that you need to handle everything perfectly, but rather that you can manage changes with patience and understanding.
Flexibility is key, especially when unexpected issues arise. However, it’s important to note that surrogates should never feel pressured to compromise their own well-being for the sake of adaptability. Your health and comfort should always be prioritized, and intended parents respect that.
How Can Surrogates Meet Intended Parents’ Expectations?
Clear and Open Communication
One of the best ways to meet intended parents’ expectations is through consistent and clear communication. Whether it’s sending updates about how you’re feeling or discussing upcoming appointments, regular communication builds trust and keeps everyone informed.
It’s also important to set boundaries that respect your personal time and emotional space. While intended parents often appreciate frequent updates, they also respect your need for privacy. Balancing open communication with personal boundaries helps ease tension and ensures a positive experience for both you and the intended parents.
Honesty and Transparency
Intended parents expect honesty, particularly when it comes to health updates or concerns. Being upfront about any challenges you face, whether they’re emotional, physical, or medical, helps build trust. Surrogates should feel empowered to voice any concerns as soon as they arise, ensuring that all parties stay on the same page.
Transparency goes beyond just health updates—it applies to every aspect of the surrogacy journey. From setting clear expectations about the relationship to discussing how frequently you’ll communicate, being honest and direct is the key to a successful partnership with intended parents.
How Surrogacy Agencies Help Align Expectations Between Surrogates & Intended Parents
Acting as a Mediator
The surrogacy agency plays a vital role in mediating expectations between surrogates and intended parents. From the very beginning, the agency ensures that both parties are clear on their responsibilities, boundaries, and the legal aspects of the process. This includes everything from the initial matching process to the legal agreements that protect both surrogates and intended parents. They also help facilitate communication, ensuring that both parties feel supported and heard throughout the journey.
Providing Ongoing Support for Surrogates and Intended Parents
In addition to acting as a mediator, surrogacy agencies offer continuous support to both surrogates and intended parents. This can include counseling services, emotional support, and resources that help ensure a smooth and positive experience for everyone involved. Whether it’s resolving a conflict or addressing a medical concern, surrogacy agencies are there to offer guidance and reassurance.
The ongoing support provided by agencies helps prevent misunderstandings and allows both surrogates and intended parents to focus on what matters most: the health and well-being of the baby and a positive experience for all parties.
Begin Your Surrogacy Journey with Surrogacy by Faith
Choosing the right surrogacy agency is crucial to ensuring a smooth and rewarding experience. Whether you’re seeking surrogacy services in California or other surrogacy-friendly states, Surrogacy by Faith stands out with its compassionate, faith-based approach. Rooted in Christian values, we offer not just practical guidance but also spiritual support throughout your surrogacy journey.
Fill out either a surrogate initial inquiry or an intended parent initial inquiry to start your surrogacy journey today. Let us help you create and nurture the family you’ve dreamed of, every step of the way.